Chapter 2 Let's Start Surfing!!
However brief Chapter 1 seems, the principles and concepts are so important to understand. They will be the pillars of support in your times of doubt. Accepting these will give you the power to continue your journey in the face of difficulties and negativity.
So lets start surfing!!
You’ve made the big decision to turn things around and go with flow. Just making the decision will come with a feeling of both relief and apprehension, if not fear of the changes you will have to make. Your head will be telling you not to be so stupid and “what if……”and “well you can’t because…….”
Yet your heart will be dancing…….can you feel it?
GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF
You will need to strengthen a certain set of personal skills to be able to use them as “tools” on your journey. For in order to plan your journey you need to KNOW YOURSELF.
HAVE AN OPEN MIND
An open mind means not blindly accepting everything you hear or read, or other peoples opinions as truth. Question yourself as to what you really, really want in life. Understand what is really important to you and what is not.
You might need to question your religious beliefs or what your family environment has taught you to believe, what is your belief structure about work and money…… my upbringing was Church of England, Christian. At Sunday school I was taught that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into Heaven. In my immature and unquestioning mind I translated this to a belief structure that to be rich was bad, selfish and unchristian. I have a good heart and subconsciously have never let myself be able to create wealth until my belief structure was consciously questioned, realized and challenged. It doesn’t mean I’m now all about money at all. What it does mean is that I realized that not all we are asked to accept and believe is right, and I am now free of a limiting and destructive subconscious thought process.
As far as work goes…..who hasn’t heard “you need to work hard and save for a rainy day.” ?
The problem I have observed with this is, that, people I have known, who have worked full time until that “utopic” moment of retirement, saving hard for their “rainy day”, have then become sick, and the rainy day never comes anyway, because they are so conditioned to saving, afraid to spend, so they pass on with a fortune in the bank having never really lived.
I myself have been asked many times “why don’t you work full time?”
My answer to this in the past has been “ because I work to live not live to work.”
Working hard I have no problem with if you love it, but working smart and enjoying a bounty of free-time is where I am.
If money is really important to you just be aware it is only a tool, neither good, or bad. It can be used for either. Money certainly gives you more choices and consequences , such as a big mortgage and ironically more borrowing capacity which often leads to big debt and the “hamster wheel” lifestyle…..so it is not always a good thing, and it can’t buy happiness or true love. My observational experience is that the more money one has, the more one spends on frivolous unnecessary things.
For me, not having money has empowered me to be much more creative. I recycle more, and use what I have to create what I need. I have become a vintage collector and entrepreneur collecting stunning clothes, shoes and furniture at a fraction of the full retail cost. I personally count the savings as the days at work I don’t need to do….. Having a regular high paid high- pressure job would have meant no time to go looking.
Money however, is an issue, so it is vital to prioritise important stuff to cover and to ditch the unimportant. I will return to the money issue later in the book.
Next is ,
Opening your mind and ears to YOURSELF . Everyone has that little inner voice which sometimes comes with a feeling. It is a real skill to start listening for that voice and HEARING it. It WILL tell you what your HEART and SOUL really want, which is often in complete contradiction to what your head is telling you.
Your hearts desires are aligned with who you really are, your essence, your core, your truth.
Your head, however, is programmed to look after you and protect you.
It receives so much conflicting information having been “programmed” by other people’s views, opinions, and environment, from when you were born.
Your inner voice often gets drowned out with all the “chatter “ inside your head, and this is where bad decisions are often made, or life paralysis manifests, as your head tells you to be afraid of change…….
LISTEN FOR YOUR INNER VOICE AND CONNECT WITH IT.
Are you religious? Or not? Spiritual or other? I have found that most belief systems and faiths have a common thread running through them. It’s just as humans we like to put labels on things. It makes it comfortable and somehow more acceptable. So whether you are religious or not, be open minded as to the possibilities out there. There is much we do not understand. Much that is not proven so anything IS possible. Who would have thought that the internet with it’s unseen communications would have been possible 100yrs ago or that we would be able to fly as easily as we do 200years ago? Who know what will be possible or proven in even a few years time. (time travel/ other dimensions?)
You are much stronger than you think. It is only when you are challenged that you grow. What could possibly be worse than in 5 years time, regretting that you didn’t make a change when you had the chance, because you were “afraid”. I have seen friends in “life paralysis” where the conversation starts with
“Hey! What’s new with you?”
“Oh, you know. Same old same old…….”
And it really is……..
That’s perfectly OK if they are happy with that.
However, if it’s not for you you wouldn’t be reading this book! If you really want to change, you have to have, or develop, a strong sense of self belief that you really can do this, and that you want it…..BADLY.
Are you aware of who you really are? What you really want? What makes you really happy? What you are really good at? Who are the special people in your life? And who are not? What you are passionate about?
It’s worth taking a moment to really answer the above HONESTLY (and some people will find this quite a challenge and confronting, because thy won’t like seeing the answers)
It might surprise you what comes up.
What really bothers you about your present situation? What would you need to do for this to be better?
What frustrates you? What would you need to do to change this?
What or who angers you? What do you need to do to stop this?
What upsets you? Why? So what needs to happen?
What bad habits have you got that you would like to change?
How is the state of your health? Both body and mental? Honestly?
What are your deepest fears? Why?
What are you afraid of most in everyday life?
Do you like yourself?
What are your best features and attributes?
What would your friends say about you if asked?
What would your family say about you if asked?
Are you a “giver” or a “taker”?
Do you put yourself first or others?
Are you a good listener? ( this is a really good skill to practice…….listen first, hear, empathise, and then respond)
Are you creative?
How do you best process information, written, spoken, images, feelings?
And the list could go on and on. But this is a good start and if you really honestly answer all the above it will be tremendously valuable and a good start.
Are you worth all this trouble?...........ABSOLUTELY.
If you don’t love yourself it is difficult for others to do so. To be authentic in life you have to love yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It means that you accept yourself as who you are, warts, faults, and all.
You are the only one living your life…..fact. So if your life matters to you, you have to put yourself first, otherwise how can you care for others if you don’t care about yourself? That DOESN”T mean you have to be selfish, but it does mean that you won’t be taken advantage of.
You know you are worth it……you are reading this book!